I received a telephone call from my ex-wife on Thanksgiving evening 1999. She gave me the devastating news that my oldest son had been in another automobile accident, he had been through four operations already, and he had no movement from the neck down. I sat on my patio and cried and cried, and Jonathan held me with my head on his shoulder as I cried.
The next day I told Jonathan the story of Jeffrey and what had happened to him after Jeff’s mother and I divorced. Jeff was ten years old when he went to Germany with his mother, and Jonathan is the same age now.
After I finished telling Jonathan the story, he looked at me and said, “Dad, the truth of the matter is that you and Jeffrey just could not live without one another.” I told Jonathan he was absolutely correct, and when I told Jeffrey what Jonathan had said, Jeffrey thought about it, and he had to agree.
This letter is the hardest letter I’ve ever written. I’ve tried so many times to write this letter, but the fear of the thought of perhaps hurting my children, even for a brief moment in time, broke my heart. The reason I have to write this letter is because I have always wanted you to know how much I love you. And because I love you, I ask your forgiveness. Forgiveness brings healing.
I ask your forgiveness because I failed you as your father by allowing the things to occur that I know harmed your life. I’m sorry I failed you. I failed you by not raising you to love God. And I failed you by not being the father of character you deserve.
I love you. I always have, and I always will.
So I want you to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I hope your healing occurs as you read and remember. And I want you to remember for now and for always, throughout your life, that I love you down to the very essence of my being, and I always will.
My story for fathers is the hardest story for me to write. I truly love being a Dad more than I can even begin to describe in words. My children bring me love and joy beyond my wildest descriptions. I have ten children and five grandchildren, and I love them all.
I think the reason this story is hard for me to write is because there is so much a father feels when he loves his children more than breath of life. And there is so much pain that I have felt when things in my life didn't always go as planned. We all feel pain in our lives at some point in time. How we deal with the pain is what makes us who we are. If we deal with the issues truthfully, everyone around us will be healthy, and we will be healthy too.
However, most of us take that hurt and pain and lock it away deep inside. If you can picture in your mind that our spirit dwells in the center of our body, and everything we want to hide from ourselves we lock up into little cells around our spirit. As we get older, these cells become greater and greater in number until our spirit has no way to shine through.
The only way for the glory of God that dwells within us to shine forth is for us to allow Jesus into every nook and cranny in our being. And that is often hard to do. We must allow Jesus to open these little, or big, cells of hurt, or shame or guilt or any of the many things we lock away, so these areas can be healed within us. Jesus is our healer.
But, it is not always easy to do. Even though God tells us to cast our cares on Him daily, these cells of destruction fill back up as the devil attacks with all the memories of things past. Know that Jesus paid for everything we have ever done wrong, and everything we will ever do wrong. And the devil has no recourse but to allow us to walk in the victory Jesus bought for us.
It all starts with forgiveness. We must forgive ourselves as well as others so our healing can be made complete.
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1. Servant of God 4-6
2. What’s My Calling 7-9
3. Fido of God 10
4. Popcorn Ladies 11-13
5. Ask-Seek-Knock 14-16
6. Kisses from Heaven 17
7. Pride — Sin Against God 18
8. Praise God For Your Healing 19
9. Tell Her About Psalm 51 20-21
10. Tithe To God 22-24
11. The Enemy is Destroyed 25-26
12. Tears Into Hell 27-29
13. The Killeen Massacre 30-33
14. God’s View of Time 34-36
15. The Glory Fire 37-40
16. Do We Reflect the Glory of God 41-45
17. The Just Shall Live by His Faith 46-49
18. Hallow the Sabbath 50-52
19. Give the Gift of the Word of God 53-57
20. Nuggets from God 58-67
21. Draw Close to God 68-71
22. A Visit from God 72-73
23. God Loves You 74-77
24. Gift from God 78-80
25. Daddy’s Joy Girl 81-82
26. Instruct the Wise 83-88
27. The Story of a Broken Man 89-117
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